How to Grieve Your Fallen Heroes
When I was 15 years old, a friend and I bought tickets to the movie Mission to Mars and didn’t see it. Instead, not yet old enough to buy tickets to an R-rated movie, we snuck into American Beauty. And [...]
Reflect Feelings Instead of Problem-Solving
As I was driving home from work today, my friend Carolyn called me on the phone and told me about her rough day. Her boss had told her that he wanted her to something, and she felt that it was [...]
The Complexity of Passing as Cishet
If something keeps coming up, I know it’s worth writing a blog article about. And in the last few weeks, with LGBT+ clients, friends, and media references, the idea of passing – intentionally or otherwise - as cishet (cisgender and [...]
5 Relationship Lessons from the Game “Fog of Love”
I’ve only ever purchased two things from a Facebook ad. The first was a giant, beautiful, forest-themed tapestry that hung for years in the waiting room of my old group practice's office suite. I’m not sure how Facebook’s algorithms knew [...]
The New Year is Inherently Anxiety-Provoking
Welcome to 2018 – out with the old, and in with the new! It’s time to sit down and make a list of all the ways that this is the year that you’ll be different than you’ve ever been before! [...]
Where is your identity when everything has changed?
Mallory came to see me about two years ago, and she felt – in a word – stuck. She had been in what she called a “dead-end relationship” with her girlfriend for five years. She had been at her paralegal [...]
5 Ways to Improve Your Sleep
About two years ago, I decided to change the name of my therapy practice. At the time, I was preparing to hire other therapists, so just using my name wouldn't work anymore. But the name didn’t come to me right [...]
Why Sexual Assault Survivors Blame Themselves
It’s not your fault. Before I dive into a blog article about sexual assault, I had to say that. You may feel like it’s your fault. Not only is that extremely common; it's also trying to protect you from your [...]
Why My Husband and I Love Couples Therapy
"Where are you guys headed?" A close friend, Ramona, was in town for a conference and staying at my house. The truth? We were heading to couples therapy. I felt my cheeks flush. "Oh... just a meeting we go to [...]
The Value of Uncomfortable Conversations
I never tell people on airplanes that I’m a therapist. Early in my career, a colleague advised that if he wants to have a productive or relaxing flight, he tells his seatmate that he sells life insurance. But on a [...]