When I was a young child, I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, now called “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, Inattentive Type” or ADHD. It meant that even though I was very smart, I had trouble focusing, and I struggled in school.
My parents did all the right things: They had me tested and diagnosed, took me to see a child psychologist, read books, taught me tools, consulted with psychiatrists, put me on medication, and even brought me for weekly EEG biofeedback sessions. But still, my symptoms stubbornly persisted and I struggled academically until I got to graduate school.
Because I was so young when I was diagnosed, ADHD has been a core piece of my identity. I used to view it as a negative thing: “I can’t do this because I have ADHD”. And I meet a lot of people – especially those diagnosed as adults – who view their own neurodiversity in this way. But as I’ve gotten older and grown into my own skin, I wear the diagnosis as a badge of honor and genuinely believe it’s one of the sources of my success.
For anyone struggling to see the bright side of their ADHD, I wanted to share the ways that it’s helped me be a better, kinder, and more successful person.
1) I’m a multitasking master.
When I was in high school, I mentioned my diagnosis to a friend, and he said, “you know, I’ve always thought it would be sort of nice to have ADD because you’d be so good at multitasking.” This was the first time I ever heard anyone frame my diagnosis as a strength, and it was transformative.
And I started to notice that my friend was right. What I had previously thought of as an inability to sit still was actually an ability to juggle multiple tasks. I could knit while walking and listening to an audiobook. I could clean my room while practicing a song for my choir concert. And the act of stacking tasks together actually helped me to focus more on them, because it meant my body wasn’t fidgeting.
2) My passion fuels hyper-focus, and vice versa.
Years later, I was networking with a psychiatrist, who told me, “there are two ways to treat ADHD: you can take medication, or you can build a life where you only do things you enjoy.” As an adult, I don’t take medication (though for some folks, it’s a game-changer). But I’ve been fortunate enough to find myself in a career where I enjoy most of what I do.
As an aside, I want to acknowledge that choosing to only do things you enjoy is a side effect of great privilege. My ability to do this stems, in large part, from familial support and socioeconomic advantages.
Something I’ve always thought about ADHD is that it’s mis-named. I don’t have an attention deficit. I have challenges related to attention allocation. Hand me the latest Jodi Picoult novel, and I’ll read it in one sitting. Plop me into a lecture about the intersection of gender, race, and power structure, and I’ll recount it for you later in great detail. And six therapy clients in a row? No problem – people’s stories are fascinating. But if I try to read an article about investing in the best mutual funds, I find myself going over and over the same paragraph without digesting any of the details.
And not only is this hyper-focus effective in helping me get stuff done. It also makes me a really passionate person, and this serves me in ways ranging from a strong knowledge of contemporary musical theater to building Through the Woods Therapy Center in a way that aligns with my vision and values.
3) Planning and organizational systems
Speaking of building Through the Woods, my ADHD gives me the ability to create systems and plans, and see things from a different perspective than people who are neurotypical. The compliment I receive most often from friends and family members is that I’m very good at executing a vision.
For a while, I thought this was something I developed as an adult, akin to “If I’m not fastidious and a bit anal retentive, everything will fall to pieces like it used to in grade school”. But recently, my parents pointed out that I’ve always excelled at the planning phase. In school, I used to sit down with my syllabi at the beginning of every semester and build a study plan for the coming months. My academic challenges came in the follow-through.
But circle back to #2 on this list. Enjoying most of the things I do gives me the ability to find that follow-through. And what this means, to put it succinctly, is that thanks to my ADHD, I get shit done.
4) Empathy
Most people don’t know that ADHD frequently comes with a great amount of empathy. At its worst, this can mean that folks like me are prone to being taken advantage of by others. But toss in a dollop of good boundaries, and a few healthy outlets for the “helper” need, and empathy can simply mean that you’re a good listener.
For me, this happened when I became a therapist. Empathy was part of what stopped me from being successful in school – a friend’s crisis of the week always took priority over academic demands. It also left me vulnerable to having my open-heartedness exploited, and I had a lot of one-sided friendships and relationships.
But now, as a therapist, my helper need is met in my work, which enables me to have great boundaries in my personal life and to cultivate relationships that are reciprocal. This doesn’t mean that if you have ADHD, you have to become a therapist. You can find other healthy outlets for your helper need – through volunteer work or mentoring, if not in the day-to-day pieces of your career.
5) Leaning into Authenticity
My parents gave a speech at my Bat Mitzvah, and said that I’ve always “marched to the beat of my own drum”. Authenticity isn’t something I came to from a strong moral conviction about being true to myself. It’s something I practice because I’m incapable of being any other way.
ADHD is a form of neurodiversity, which means that I think a bit differently from other people. If I try to follow trends or be one of the “cool kids,” I fall flat on my face. I can’t really pull it off.
But before you feel too bad for me, I get something much better as a result: the ability to be unabashedly myself.