If there’s a company whose business model was built to thrive during our current pandemic, it’s Zoom. We’re having Zoom staff meetings, Zoom happy hours, Zoom game nights, Zoom birthday parties, Zoom employee reviews, Zoom time with Grandma and Grandpa. And a lot of us are very tired of staring at a screen. A new phrase has been coined to describe this: Zoom Fatigue.
What is Zoom Fatigue?
Zoom Fatigue is a feeling of burnout that’s associated with too much interactive screen time. During the first few weeks of the pandemic, people took great solace in Zooming with their friends. And there’s still an element of this, but I’m also hearing a lot of people say that they’re tired of so much video chat. Even while craving human connection, the Zoom Fatigue phenomenon is very real.
How Zoom heals and intensifies loneliness
Zoom (and Facetime, Skype, etc.) is a strange paradox. On the one hand, it’s so calming to see your loved one’s faces – or even sometimes just your coworkers’ faces. But there’s a kind of grief associated with these experiences.
You think to yourself, “Oh, Sam, I’m so glad to see your face!” But your next thought is, “Oh Sam, how I miss seeing your actual face…” So you’re holding all of these feelings simultaneously, and it’s emotionally draining. You feel more connected, and somehow lonelier at the same time. Every time you see people on Zoom, it’s a reminder that you can’t actually see people in real life.
Protecting video therapy from Zoom Fatigue
Just like connecting with friends and family, therapy sessions are part of your self-care… but now, like everything else in your life, your only real option is telehealth. If you’re burned out on video chat, online therapy can feel like just another contributor to your Zoom Fatigue. Here are some ways you can decrease the impact of that, and help your therapy sessions still feel special.
Download a blue light filter
In the first few weeks of social distancing, every therapist I know said some variation of, “I don’t understand why I’m so much more exhausted than when I see my clients in person.” Some of this can be chalked up to the complicated dynamic I mentioned earlier. The therapists are happy to see their clients, but simultaneously grieving that they can’t seem them in person.
But some of it is just your brain’s physiological reaction to blue light. Blue light messes with your circadian rhythm, which is why limiting screens is part of all sleep hygiene recommendations. If you’re spending a lot of time staring at screens, consider a downloading a free blue light filter to decrease this effect. Here is the one I use.
Separate therapy from other Zoom commitments
To the extent possible, create a buffer around your therapy session each week by not scheduling other Zoom commitments right before or afterwards. If your mom wants to Facetime, let her know you’ll be free an hour before or after therapy, rather than pressed right up against your appointment. If your work allows it, block off three hours on your calendar, beginning one hour before your session, so that you have time to take a screen break beforehand and process afterwards.
This is actually pretty good advice for the rest of your online life too. When possible, try not to rack up too many video chat commitments. Because we’re all feeling starved for connection, it can be difficult to say no to an invitation. But just like it’s good to be cognizant of how much you’re stuffing things into your life in more “normal” times, setting boundaries to protect your time and energy is good self–care.
Set the mood
A lot of clients have talked about feeling like there used to be a ritual around their therapy time. They would walk or drive to the office and think about what they wanted to discuss. They’d settle into the waiting area and take some deep breaths while they waited to be invited in.
You can, to the best of your ability, recreate this. 15 minutes before your session, go for a walk in your neighborhood and think about what you’d like from your session. When you get home, make yourself a cup of tea. Settle down in front of your computer. Close your eyes and take a few deep breaths. Then, log into your session.
No, it’s not the same. But what you’re doing is building a ritual to help you drop into the moment, rather than just rushing over from your last task.
Don’t bookend yourself afterwards
Just like it can be helpful to set the stage on the front end, it can also be valuable to build an “after therapy” ritual.
When you finish your session, step away from your screen so that you can process what you’ve discussed. Using a pen and paper, jot down some thoughts or notes.
If your online session was couples therapy, step into a room without a computer and process what you discussed. Have a few sips of water or a snack. Let everything digest, rather than rushing back to the rest of your life.
Acknowledge that it feels different
“This feels weird.”
“I can see you, but it’s not the same.”
Don’t be afraid to say those things to your therapist. If you’re experiencing that in therapy, you’re probably experiencing it in a lot of other areas of your life. Therapy is a great place to process the disconnect between seeing someone and being apart from them. Once you’re talking about it, it will stop feeling like the elephant in the room.
Because it is weird. Everything right now is weird, and a little bit uncanny. And your therapy session is the perfect place to process how that’s affecting you.