You have privilege.* I hate to break it to you, but it’s true. I hear you – you’re saying to me, “but Jennie, I’m a lesbian transwoman of color.” Yes, and I don’t want to discount any of that… but are you able-bodied? Are you between the ages of 18-60? Are you Christian? If you answered yes to any of those, you still have privilege. Glad we settled that.
Categories of Privilege
Here’s how it works:
Basically, there are a lot of different dimensions by which privilege can be measured.** What I learned in graduate school is that there are seven:
Sex – male vs. female
Race – white vs. any racial minority
Age – prime of adulthood vs. children or elderly people
Religion – Protestant vs. any other religion (or lack of religion)
Sexual Orientation – straight vs. gay or bisexual
Ability Status – able-bodied vs. disabled
Socioeconomic Status – middle-class (or higher) vs. those who live in poverty
Although as I’ve grown and learned and increased my awareness, I’ve found that there are so many more kinds of privilege than that. Here are a few, though this list is far from exhaustive:
Gender – cisgender vs. transgender or non-binary gendered (If these terms are confusing, please see my article on transgender 101)
Relationship Orientation – “traditional” vs. polyamorous or kinky
Body Type – thin or fit vs. overweight or curvy
Legal Status – United States Citizen vs. those who are not
Language Ability – English-speaking people vs. those who are not fluent in English
Accent – standard American accent vs. Southern or other regional accents
And the list goes on.
*It’s possible to be in the non-privileged category of every dimension on this list, but that doesn’t mean you lack privilege. For example, if you are in a wheelchair but have functional hearing, you have ability privilege when it comes to ability to hear over someone who is deaf. Conversely, someone who is deaf but able-bodied in other ways has privilege by merit of their ability to ambulate unassisted.
**Please note that the types of privilege noted in this article refer to those statuses that are privileged in most parts of the United States. Other cultures, countries, or societies may have other types of privilege, but as I have limited to no experience with those places and customs, I am unable to speak to the experiences of people who live there.
What Privilege Means
In each of these categories, there is a dominant or privileged group of people (the first one listed) and a minority group, which is to say that the group is subjugated, frequently perceived as inferior, or attributed less credibility, rather than having anything to do with the percentage of the population in each group. This means that if I am an able-bodied 29-year-old straight white Jewish female from an upper-middle class family (you know, for example), I am in the dominant groups when it comes to ability status, age, sexual orientation, and socioeconomic status, but I am in the non-privileged group when it comes to sex and religion.
Ok. That’s what it means to be in a privileged or non-privileged group. What are the implications of this? I’m going to link you to two other places that describe this much better than I could. The first is a wonderful article recently written by Matt Maggiacomo called “In Defense of Allies,” in which he describes how by being male, white, and heterosexual, he is privileged, as well as what he opts to do with that privilege. I think this speaks to the experience of privilege beautifully because it’s a great example of a person not only acknowledging but also taking ownership of their privilege which, as I’ll discuss later in this article, can be a really hard thing to do.
The other article that I’m going to link to is a classic list by Peggy McIntosh called “Unpacking the Invisible Knapsack.” The idea is basically that those of us who are white walk around all the time not thinking about race, but people of color frequently think about how their ethnic background – pardon the terrible wordplay – colors their experiences. That’s what makes it invisible: people with privilege usually don’t even notice that they lack these things.
Another thing worth mentioning before moving onto the premise posed in the title of this article is intersectionality. What that means is that you can be in multiple non-privileged groups, and that may affect your ability to feel included in any of those groups. For example, if you’re a lesbian and you’re in a wheelchair, you might feel discriminated against for your disability when around other gay people and for being gay when you’re around other disabled people. If you’re black and Jewish, you might feel discriminated against because of your skin color when at synagogue and also because of your religion when you’re around other people of color. And to add to it, many people fit into more than two minority categories.
Intersectionality can lead to people within minorities still having a lot of privilege compared to other people within that minority. I was surprised when I started spending a lot of time around gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgendered folks to hear people talk about young, slim, white gay men having a lot of privilege. Then when I expanded my understanding of the acronym and started spending a lot of time around that community as well as queer-identified, asexual, intersex, poly, and kinky folks, I was even more surprised to hear people talking about how privileged white transmen are. I wanted to say, “but being transgender is still really hard!” And it absolutely is. But what these categories have that other LGBTQQIAPK folks lack is a single level of minority status and limited intersectionality.
What To Do With Your Privilege
Ok, now that you have a primer about privilege and intersectionality, go back to those lists of minority categories at the beginning – the traditional list as well as the items I added – and think about the categories where you’re in the privileged group as well as those where you’re in the non-privileged group. Most people have some characteristics in each of these categories. Looking at these things, how are you feeling?
If you’re like most people, you probably feel a twinge of guilt. You might even feel defensive, thinking to yourself, “I don’t have that much privilege!” or “This stuff is blown out of proportion – we’re all just people!” Those responses are really, really common, and they also serve a purpose. That purpose is protecting our fragile sense of justice in the world. It’s just plain hard to look at ourselves and state, “A big part of what I have achieved and how I am perceived in life is due to factors beyond my control.” We all like to believe that our accomplishments are due exclusively to our efforts, but the simple fact of the matter is that many people’s first impressions of us have to do with these criteria over which we have no power.
So what can you do with that feeling of guilt and, more to the point, the ways in which you possess privilege? I have come up with four categories of how people often react to being confronted with their privilege:
- Ignore it.
This is what most of the world does, and I’m going to say, probably controversially, that it doesn’t make you a bad person if it’s what you choose. Lots of people want to go about their lives and not think about their privilege. They might encounter examples of this – for example, information about women receiving less pay for equal work or unsettling statistics about violence against transpeople. And what most of the world does is see this information, think “boy, that’s terrible,” and then go back to what they’re doing.
The problem with this: Being ignorant (which has the same root as the word “ignore”) means you’re going to offend people. If you choose this option, you’re going to engage in microaggressions and people are going to hear what you say, and think “boy, what a privileged and unaware white/straight/young/cisgender/etc person.” While it doesn’t make you a bad person to ignore your privilege, it does make you a bit irresponsible, so choose this path carefully.
- Deny it.
This can take a few different faces. It can look like “nah, that privilege stuff is all feminist/liberal/gay agenda/etc mumbo jumbo! People make too big a deal out of this stuff.” But it can also look like “I’m not actually straight – I’m heteroflexible!” or “I’m not actually white – I’m Jewish, which is a totally different ethnicity!” (I have been historically guilty of saying both of these things.)
The problem with this: Regardless of whether it’s dismissive like the first example or well-intended like the second example, it negates the lived experiences of people who legitimately lack your privilege. I was recently confronted with this idea while claiming to be heteroflexible, and finally understood something I hadn’t really gotten before – it is not only my right, but also my responsibility to acknowledge that I am heterosexual. When I acknowledge this, it creates a context for people who are LGBTQQIA to exist as a minority group (or set of minority groups) and helps legitimize their experience of lacking the privilege that I have. Denying that I have that privilege is NOT helpful to those who genuinely lack it.
- Accept it.
Acknowledge the privilege you have (basically the opposite of #2) and integrate that into your idea of yourself. If you’re a middle-eastern man engaging in a conversation with an authority figure of some sort, realize that not only are you being perceived as middle-eastern, but also as a man, which puts you in a more privileged position than a middle-eastern woman having the same conversation. You don’t have to go to rallies or advocate for non-privileged groups, but you at least integrate your privileged categories into your overall sense of self.
The problem with this: It’s a bit unsettling. If you have a strong sense of justice or fairness, it’s going to be pretty hard to stop here. Once you’re aware that you have privilege and you start looking at that in the mirror, you’ll probably either run to categories 1 or 2 or you’ll be urged to category 4.
- Be an advocate.
Use your privilege for good. Are you a white person who is informed about the hardships of being a person of color? Or a straight person who is aware of the difficulties faced by LGBT people? Spend time with those groups. Educate yourself. Let people tell their stories. Read books by authors in these minority categories. When someone asks you to talk about this stuff, own your privilege and explain that your perspective is skewed or biased because of your dominant category status, and point them to a person who has lived experiences to speak to or a book written by a person in the non-privileged category. Wield your privilege to help the voices of those who lack it be heard.
The problem with this: It’s both exhausting and humbling. Admitting you don’t have all the answers about something you yourself haven’t experienced can be an unpleasant thing to do. Plus, being a true ally and speaking up when someone says ignorant things can be difficult. It’s also hard to be an ally and an advocate without being constantly angry, or at least perceived as such. And sometimes, you have to make a hard call about whether to pick your battles or speak up in the name of upholding equality in complicated situations, like with authority figures or clients/customers or parents of your significant other.
I’m wondering – for those who have experienced being confronted with their privilege, are there any other ways you’ve chosen to respond to it? Leave me a comment and let me know!