The Path to Mental Wellness Isn’t Linear

on November 17, 2017

This summer, I experienced severe, physical health problems for the first time. As unprepared as I was for how to cope with my new physical challenges, I was even more unprepared for how profoundly my physical health would impact my understanding of my own emotional wellbeing. I’d broken some bones as a kid, struggled with […]

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How Dating Taught Me to Be Myself

on November 15, 2017

I have dated a lot in my life. Mostly starting in my early twenties after graduating college, I jumped into dating head first. It was a harsh learning curve. My self-esteem wasn’t fully developed and I went into dates feeling nervous. I was fearful about being judged for who I was. I would hold back […]

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Why Sexual Assault Survivors Blame Themselves

on October 27, 2017

It’s not your fault. Before I dive into a blog article about sexual assault, I had to say that.  You may feel like it’s your fault.  Not only is that extremely common; it’s also trying to protect you from your pain, which I’ll discuss in this blog article in a moment.  But it can’t be […]

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Why My Husband and I Love Couples Therapy

on October 24, 2017

“Where are you guys headed?” A close friend, Ramona, was in town for a conference and staying at my house. The truth? We were heading to couples therapy. I felt my cheeks flush. “Oh… just a meeting we go to on Friday mornings,” I said vaguely. We drove to our appointment. It was productive, as […]

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Test Anxiety is Alive and Well

on September 29, 2017

We (almost) all know the feelings that come over us on Test Day: nervous stomach, sweaty palms, racing heart, dread, dread, dread. As an adult, I can clearly remember the late nights and tear-filled calls to my dad before big tests – in college, even in grad school. Even now, the words “test” or “quiz” […]

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The Value of Uncomfortable Conversations

on September 8, 2017

I never tell people on airplanes that I’m a therapist.  Early in my career, a colleague advised that if he wants to have a productive or relaxing flight, he tells his seatmate that he sells life insurance.  But on a recent flight to New York, I couldn’t ignore the tears rolling down the face of […]

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Powerlessness, Neo-Nazis, and Musical Theater

on August 22, 2017

“There are Nazis marching everywhere, and I’m kind of panicking.” I’ve heard some variation on this sentiment from a lot of clients over the last several weeks, and it’s been really paralyzing – not just for them, but for me. This isn’t the first time I’ve held a safe space for a lot of people […]

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How to know if you’re cheating on your partner

on July 30, 2017

I wrote an article a few years ago about things that everyone can learn from the kink community.  The rationale is that when people introduce unconventional things into their sex lives, they can’t make the assumptions most of us make about what’s okay and what isn’t. Grounded in this same line of thinking, it’s time […]

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Replacing Perfectionism with Good-Enough Adulting

on July 25, 2017

I have fairly sensitive teeth.  This may be genetic, or perhaps it’s because when I had braces as a young teenager, I wasn’t as fastidious about brushing and flossing as I ought to have been.  (See Ariel Hirsch’s recent post about forgiving yourself for embarrassing follies of youth!)  Regardless of the reason, I’ve been using […]

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How I Learned to Forgive My Younger Self

on July 24, 2017

When I was in 8th grade, I had an embarrassingly obsessive crush on a guy named Mickey*. Mickey was the new kid and everyone had a crush on him. He was quiet and mysterious, but somehow also silly and appealing. He sat behind me in English class, sometimes playing with my hair and making comments […]

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