How to know if you’re cheating on your partner

on July 30, 2017

I wrote an article a few years ago about things that everyone can learn from the kink community.  The rationale is that when people introduce unconventional things into their sex lives, they can’t make the assumptions most of us make about what’s okay and what isn’t. Grounded in this same line of thinking, it’s time […]

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Replacing Perfectionism with Good-Enough Adulting

on July 25, 2017

I have fairly sensitive teeth.  This may be genetic, or perhaps it’s because when I had braces as a young teenager, I wasn’t as fastidious about brushing and flossing as I ought to have been.  (See Ariel Hirsch’s recent post about forgiving yourself for embarrassing follies of youth!)  Regardless of the reason, I’ve been using […]

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How I Learned to Forgive My Younger Self

on July 24, 2017

When I was in 8th grade, I had an embarrassingly obsessive crush on a guy named Mickey*. Mickey was the new kid and everyone had a crush on him. He was quiet and mysterious, but somehow also silly and appealing. He sat behind me in English class, sometimes playing with my hair and making comments […]

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How to Connect With Your Teen as Summer Ends

on July 16, 2017

As July reaches its midpoint, we collectively realize that the summer is (at least) halfway over. For teens who are about to embark on their first year of college (or who are moving away for other reasons in the fall), this summer can be particularly meaningful. To so many of these young people, this is the summer; […]

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Why External Validation is the Wrong Standard

on July 10, 2017

When I was about three years old, my father taught me how to swim. He brought me into the pool, had me hold onto the edge in the shallow end, and then walked about three feet away. “Ok, Jennie!” he would shout, “Swim to me!” Delighted, remembering everything from the classes my mom had brought […]

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On Feeling Angry

on June 28, 2017

Anger isn’t an emotion that many of us feel comfortable with. But could we? Being angry sounds big and scary. It sounds like an emotion that could easily spin out of control, hurt other people, and somehow make everything worse. It sounds like a scary emotion, but it’s not. Though many of us have come to believe otherwise, our anger is […]

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When Work Hurts

on June 26, 2017

A few days ago a friend approached me about how he has a lot happening in his life that he’s been struggling to cope with. He’s been finding it hard to let go of his feelings of sadness and worry when he heads into work. There have been days where every hour spent at his desk has […]

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Taking the Bait – How Assumptions Keep You Stuck


A friend of mine recently went through a painful and confusing break-up. When we would talk, I would hear her assume all kinds of things about her ex. She would say, “oh, he probably doesn’t care about us breaking up. I bet he’s already moved on and that I never mattered much to him in […]

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7 Ways to Improve Your Body Image That Aren’t Crash-Dieting

on June 20, 2017

About two years ago, I wrote an unassuming little blog post that I called “We’re All in This Together”.  It wasn’t flashy, didn’t feature a clickbait title, and fell off my website’s homepage without much ado – but I think it’s one of the most important articles I’ve ever written. The premise of the article […]

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Don’t Make Fun of Donald Trump’s Hair

on June 15, 2017

Don’t make fun of Donald Trump’s hair.  Don’t make fun of his complexion or his weight or the size of his hands.  When you do, he does not hear you. But the people who do hear you learn, for the umpteenth time, that all that matters is physical appearance.  The people who hear you feel […]

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